The Infinite Vault

14 Things inside the infinite vault

The Infinite Vault is a place that contains nearly anything. The rumours say a wizard created it centuries ago to safeguard their experiments or that it’s a side effect of alien manipulation of temporal fields. The entrance hall appears as a grey toned office corridor but the doors are solid metal and painted bright red. Going through any door leads to a different room of the vault. If you can find a stable entrance, then maybe you could find something inside of value. Or maybe you’re chasing down a thief. Perhaps you’re lost and are trying to find a way out. Here’s some of the things you might encounter.

Recursive and Recurring – There’s a red door at the centre of this room. It leads into a room with a red door in the centre. This leads into a room with a red door in the centre. Beyond this door is a room with a red door at the centre. Opening it reveals a room with a red door in the centre. Through there is a room with a red door at the centre…

The Garbage Gabbler – The room is filled with garbage and rotting food that all slopes towards a slimy green monstrosity of mouth, eyes and limbs. It gurbles to itself about tasty tasty junk and how it can smell fresh meat. The limbs pull at the garbage piles, causing them to fall towards the Gabbler, taking anyone on the garbage with it. On the far side of the room is the door out.

Crushed at Depth – The door opens into the aft torpedo room of a 1940s era submarine that’s listing to port by 10 degrees. The air is filled with the smell of burnt oil and leaking battery acid and there’s water up to ankle depth. There’s no sign of any crew but the boat is making ominous creaking noises. The red door out is in the bow torpedo room but anyone inside must move carefully lest they disturb the wreck and cause it to start to implode.

A Storm from a Teacup – Though the room is only a 5 metre cube it contains a hurricane. The winds spiral up and out of a small china teacup that floats aloft on the winds at the middle of the room.

Actual Space Invaders – This room has only 8-bit graphical resolution. The floor is black with white stars on it. Between the characters and the door are 55 pixelated squids and crabs that are moving slowly side to side, blocking the way. As more of them are destroyed, they move faster and faster making it more difficult to get past them. Occasionally they send a bolt of energy towards the door the characters entered from.

Various Viscose Vikings – The Jam Vikings of Gäddavakt aren’t actually inside the Infinite Vault, rather their jam making lodge happens to contain one of the entrances. They’ve just suffered a jamsplosion and the grand hall is now covered in an inch of hot lingonberry jam. They’ll happily help anyone who helps them and will offer up some small jam samples as thanks. They’ve scouted the infinite vault a few times, but prefer not to go too far as it all gets a bit too strange for their taste.

A Puzzle in Black – The room is entirely black. Completely black. Light barely reflects off the surfaces. The room itself is a perfect 5 m cube and scattered around it are black pieces of a door shaped jigsaw. When the pieces are combined they shimmer into the red exit door.

The Disappointed Dead – After the red door there’s a small waiting room in front of a set of grey doors. Each grey door has a character’s name written on them. The grey doors will only open for their character. There’s a small interview room with a grey chair and table. On the table sits a crystal cube from which the spirit of a deceased ancestor will appear. The spirit is quite disappointed in the character’s life choices and needs to be persuaded otherwise for the red door out to appear.

Body Swap – There’s a set of automated bureaucracy machines along the walls of this circular room. The machines seem to be bio-mecha-magical and are somewhat confused. They don’t seem to recognise that the minds of the characters are in their correct bodies and won’t issue the proper paperwork to unlock the red door out. Fortunately there’s a mind swapping machine at the centre of the room to help the characters sort out this muddle.

A Very Lazy Sphinx – The walls of this tall narrow corridor are made of pale sandstone and are carved with glyphs warning that the way ahead is guarded. Around the corner is a wide open courtyard with piles of sun-bleached bones in the corners. A sphinx lies sleeping in the shade blocking access to the door. She’s quite unhappy to be roused and grumpily states that only those that correctly answer a riddle may pass. Her riddles are trivially easy and she’ll ask another riddle until a correct answer is given. She’ll only use violence if she’s attacked and it’s overwhelming.

Always Falling – The door opens into an endless blue sky with the occasional white fluffy clouds. Once the characters notice they’re not standing on anything, they start to fall. There’s nothing below them, they’ll keep falling forever if they don’t find a way over to the red door that’s also falling with them.

Tiny Dragon Cafe – “Hello, my name is Aerilaya Leodi and welcome to my Tiny Dragon Cafe!” Aerilaya is stood behind a small counter next to a coffee machine and a cabinet of small cakes. The rest of the cafe is filled with cushions and tiny dragons of hundreds of different colours. About the size of a rat, they’re sleeping on the cushions, playing in the air, eating nibbles, or curiously watching the characters. The cafe is another exit from the vault and Aerilaya is renting the space cheaply because of the red door.

Payment in Uncomfortable Truths – A pair of crystal archways stand at either end of a 5 metre long rope bring that spans a chasm with a raging torrent at its bottom. Written on the archways are the words “Speak Truth that is Uncomfortable to Cross.”

An Empty Unused Space – It’s completely beige and exactly 4.856 metres long by 2.34 metres wide. There is no exit door in here but there is a clipboard with a vault space requisition form on it. Also in the room is a bell jar, an open safe, some duct tape, and a dozen flatten cardboard boxes.